Dear Miss Lindsay Lohan,

This photo is minimalist. However sometimes the simple is the most elegant. You know how to pose so seductively. But it is ever so suttle. Bravo.

When I look at your face, and more specifically your eyes, I sense a sadness. Is this a ruse for the camera? Or is there some deep longing that remains unmet in your life? Do tell I say.

Sincerely,

Sir Loth of Lockewood