Dear Linsday

2008-10-07T03:20:00.001-04:00

Dear Miss Lindsay Lohan,

You cast quite a devious state. That is a good thing my dear. You bring out the best in me.

How I long to gave upon your face in person. It would delight me beyond compare. Cheers to you.

Sincerely,

Sir Loth of Lockewood

2008-09-22T20:04:00.001-04:00

Dear Miss Lindsay Lohan,

To quote a popular icon from American culture, "You look marvelous."

Exposing your shoulders is a splendid look. And I dare say your smile melts me.

Sincerely,

Sir Loth of Lockewood

2008-09-21T10:51:00.001-04:00

Dear Miss Lindsay Lohan,

Why is it that you possess a flaming magazine? Unhappy with some papparrazzi?

Regardless, you continually have a ravishing look. I will permit you to burn my book my lady.

Sincerely,

Sir Loth of Lockewood

2008-09-20T06:56:00.002-04:00

Dear Miss Lindsay Lohan,

Your lack of brassiere is quite evident. However my love for you is not diminished. Other blokes may respect you less for it. I on the other hand, continually hold you in high regard.

Sincerely,

Sir Loth of Lockewood

2008-09-19T19:16:00.002-04:00

Dear Miss Lindsay Lohan,

Your fabulous hair is out of control. And I must say that I adore it. How pleasant a disposition you possess. Are you having a grand time there lass?

Sincerely,

Sir Loth of Lockewood

2008-09-18T17:41:00.001-04:00

Dear Miss Lindsay Lohan,

You continually flash that beautiful smile of yours.

I never cease to be enchanted by you. Good day.

Sincerely,

Sir Loth of Lockewood

2008-09-17T18:18:00.001-04:00

Dear Miss Lindsay Lohan,

You have a somewhat perturbed look about you. Could it be that the shoes do not fit properly? Perhaps the photographer found you off guard. Cheer up young maiden.

Sincerely,

Sir Loth of Lockewood

2008-09-16T07:50:00.001-04:00

Dear Miss Lindsay Lohan,

I approve your choice of rainbow colors. Quite splendid.

It is difficult to keep up with your changing hair colors. I do say that I adore the blond look.

Sincerely,

Sir Loth of Lockewood

2008-09-15T17:05:00.001-04:00

Dear Miss Lindsay Lohan,

You have mastered the sultry look that drives blokes such as myself wild. I must say you have a regal air to yourself.

I recommend you come to me, so that I might crown you as the royalty that you already are.

Sincerely,

Sir Loth of Lockewood

2008-09-14T07:39:00.002-04:00

Dear Miss Lindsay Lohan,

Ah your glorious radiance lights my world from the screen. How sweet and slender your exposed waist is.

I envision touching your curly red locks with my own hands. Only then would my own smile match your heavenly gaze.

Sincerely,

Sir Loth of Lockewood

2008-09-13T08:05:00.002-04:00

Dear Miss Lindsay Lohan,

You continue to leave me speechless with your ravishing beauty. By chance are you the spokesmodel for some line of beauty products?

I would love to one day make your acquaintance. It is my dear hope that the feelings are mutual.

Sincerely,

Sir Loth of Lockewood

2008-09-12T07:58:00.002-04:00

Dear Miss Lindsay Lohan,

Once again you portray the classic school girl. And you capture the essence of youth perfectly.

Oh to be 20 years younger. I would fly up to the USA and come find you. It would be declicious.

Sincerely,

Sir Loth of Lockewood

2008-09-11T17:56:00.001-04:00

Dear Miss Lindsay Lohan,

Now you are looking like a proper Brit. Quite a stylish hat you are donning there.

Even the blokes behind you are happy. I would be most happy to be in his shoes.

Sincerely,

Sir Loth of Lockewood

2008-09-10T20:26:00.002-04:00

Dear Miss Lindsay Lohan,

You appear to be the girl next door. However your beauty far surpasses such a label.

Although your hair has a hint of blond, I understand they call you the firecracker in the states.

Sincerely,

Sir Loth of Lockewood

2008-09-09T19:32:00.001-04:00

Dear Miss Lindsay Lohan,

The depths of your bosom are unfathomable. I so enjoy the great mysteries of the world such as this.

Who is this young man that accompanies you? Perchance this is a female acquaintance with short hair?

Sincerely,

Sir Loth of Lockewood

2008-09-09T19:30:00.001-04:00

Dear Miss Lindsay Lohan,

Your long blond hair is ravishing. In fact it calls too much attention away from your beautiful face.

Did you attend the MTV awards show? Well good show then.

Sincerely,

Sir Loth of Lockewood

2008-09-08T18:34:00.003-04:00

Dear Miss Lindsay Lohan,

Your gorgeous legs extend on forever. Oh how I would love to join you in a couching.

How is it that you obtain this deep and continuous tan? This must be the craft of the Hollywood elite.

Sincerely,

Sir Loth of Lockewood

2008-09-07T05:55:00.001-04:00

Dear Miss Lindsay Lohan,

If I did not know better, it would seem you are performing in a gentlemen's club. Pray tell where this establishment would be. Your presence will guarantee at least one more member.

Sincerely,

Sir Loth of Lockewood

2008-09-06T05:41:00.002-04:00

Dear Miss Lindsay Lohan,

Your bosom invokes a deep longing within me. It pains me to see you scantily clad. Why must you tempt me so?

Nevertheless, your beauty is timeless. Within myself I sense we must be kindred spirits. And so I continue my scripts to you.

Sincerely,

Sir Loth of Lockewood

2008-09-05T05:52:00.002-04:00

Dear Miss Lindsay Lohan,

Those jeans appear to fit quite snugly on your posterior regions. And I must say that those shoes arch you in quite an agreeable manner.

I wonder where you might be headed on such a glorious day. How I long that your destination was my domicile.

Sincerely,

Sir Loth of Lockewood

2008-09-04T18:50:00.002-04:00

Dear Miss Lindsay Lohan,

You have the illustrious style of the jet set. I would harbor a guess that you would fit well in my lifestyle. Bravo.

Do you play cricket? Perhaps I could enchant you into a game or two. My place would be advantageous for both of us. Cheerio.

Sincerely,

Sir Loth of Lockewood

2008-09-03T17:08:00.002-04:00

Dear Miss Lindsay Lohan,

Ahh your beauty is unsurpassed in this world. The black and white is a classy style of photograph. And this one should you have such class.

As timeless as the Mona Lisa, your smile shines brightly in my dark world. If only I could see you flash that radiant smile in my presence, my world would never grow dim.

Sincerely,

Sir Loth of Lockewood

2008-09-02T17:08:00.002-04:00

Dear Miss Lindsay Lohan,

Your elegant black dress is smashing. I must confess that I noticed you are missing a brassiere. If you would like, I could procure one of them for you.

As usual, your figure is positively ravishing. How I long to be smitten with your actual presence. I am beside myself.

Sincerely,

Sir Loth of Lockewood

2008-09-01T15:31:00.002-04:00

Dear Miss Lindsay Lohan,

I must profess that your boots are most elegant. And I see that you are in your school girl uniform. Oh quite a good show my dear.

You are at least in your twenties now correct? That must mean that you attend college if any school. Your picture brings me back to the days at Oxford. Oh I digress.

Sincerely,

Sir Loth of Lockewood

2008-08-31T19:22:00.001-04:00

Dear Miss Lindsay Lohan,

This photo is minimalist. However sometimes the simple is the most elegant. You know how to pose so seductively. But it is ever so suttle. Bravo.

When I look at your face, and more specifically your eyes, I sense a sadness. Is this a ruse for the camera? Or is there some deep longing that remains unmet in your life? Do tell I say.

Sincerely,

Sir Loth of Lockewood

2008-08-31T19:20:00.003-04:00

Dear Miss Lindsay Lohan,

Pink is a color which brings out your gorgeous hair. The shape of your face is quite enchanting. I realize that you act in the theater. However you must also be a model, right?

The other day I rented your Mean Girls. Jolly good show ma'am. Your accent was entertaining to say the least. If I did not know better, I would say you came from the motherland.

Sincerely,

Sir Loth of Lockewood

2008-08-31T19:18:00.003-04:00

Dear Miss Lindsay Lohan,

Darling you pull off the school girl look quite well. But I must ask. What is that you have draped across your shoulder? Perhaps it is something specific to the Americas?

Oh good lord. Who cares? Those large spectacles make you seem most mysterious. I would have love to have been your instructor. You did attend school, did you not?

Sincerely,

Sir Loth of Lockewood

2008-08-31T19:16:00.001-04:00

Dear Miss Lindsay Lohan,

This photo makes you look like quite the young tart. And I do mean that in the best of ways. I bet you have the young fellows panting when you stoll by.

Then again, the dress you wear is more elegant than a common one. I imagine it is designer, and may even have been made exclusively for your body. Quite wonderful indeed.

Sincerely,

Sir Loth of Lockewood

2008-08-31T19:14:00.002-04:00

Dear Miss Lindsay Lohan,

I dare say you do bring me back to good ole days. That hair piece you were is reminiscint of the 1960's. However I realize you would not have been born then.

Could it be that you saw an old movie or photo? You have embraced the look entirely. If we would transport you in a time machine, I would introduce you to my younger self.

Sincerely,

Sir Loth of Lockewood

2008-08-31T19:12:00.001-04:00

Dear Miss Lindsay Lohan,

Forgive me but it appears that you have a naughty look about you. If I did not know better, I would think you were trying to seduce me. Good show.

That your photo is black and white reminds me of the late sixties. Back then I was located in the motherland. Those were jolly good time. But I digress.

Sincerely,

Sir Loth of Lockewood

2008-08-31T19:10:00.002-04:00

Dear Miss Lindsay Lohan,

Previously I had communicated that I prefered your long blond hair. Now I know that I was in error. Your natural reddish blond look is superior.

What are these trinkets your displace about your arms? I suspect some sort of jewelry. If only I could bestow gifts of jewelry myself upon you.

Sincerely,

Sir Loth of Lockewood

2008-08-31T19:09:00.002-04:00

Dear Miss Lindsay Lohan,

Your skin is quite splendid. I must say that I find it difficult not to state at your pictures. I would be most embarassed if I met you in person. Indeed.

Do I detect a faint smile? It almost seems a mischievious look. A penny for your thoughts? Do tell. I will lose sleep if I do not know.

Sincerely,

Sir Loth of Lockewood

2008-08-31T19:05:00.002-04:00

Dear Miss Lindsay Lohan,

That is quite an unusual dress you are wearing. Perhaps it is some recent fashion? I confess that I am not well versed in the modern fashion world. It is all so very confusing.

If I dare say, it would appear that is a maternity dress. Yes I conceded that is a fantasic thought. You are without husband. And I would deduce that you are also without child. Silly me.

Sincerely,

Sir Loth of Lockewood

2008-08-31T19:00:00.002-04:00

Dear Miss Lindsay Lohan,

It appears a camerman has snapped your photo while you were shopping. I apologize for this intrusion. But let me say that you have the most wonderful tan.

I also think your blond hair is positively scrumtious. It suits you better than red or any other color. Perhaps this was done for one of your movie roles?

Sincerely,

Sir Loth of Lockewood