Dear Miss Lindsay Lohan,

That is quite an unusual dress you are wearing. Perhaps it is some recent fashion? I confess that I am not well versed in the modern fashion world. It is all so very confusing.

If I dare say, it would appear that is a maternity dress. Yes I conceded that is a fantasic thought. You are without husband. And I would deduce that you are also without child. Silly me.

Sincerely,

Sir Loth of Lockewood